I really do not suggest you become an alt coin trader, but if you are determined to do it, here are some terms you’ll need to know:
- Bagholder- One word. It defines what you will become if you are dumb enough to buy- what you think will be- the next Bitcoin. The term should be understood in terms of its fully implied sexual connotations. If you are praying you can get back half of what you put in (you won’t)- you are a bagholder.
- Shitcoin- this is not necessarily a bad term. Traders don’t avoid a coin because it is a shitcoin. I have seen traders rally a coin with a broken blockchain. Just never fool yourself and start believing in a shitcoin.
- Hodling- Some poor soul in the distant past, meant to say that he was “holding” a particular coin. He mistyped and the term went viral. It is a meme of constant amusement, because hodling a shitcoin is quite stupid.
- Alt coins- Any coin that is not bitcoin is an alt coin. There is no getting around this. If you are not bitcoin you suck.
- Shills- Shills have a different meaning in crypto. While it is usually considered to be someone who promotes scammers, in crypto it means anyone who writes anything good about an alt coin.
- Scammer- You are nobody in the industry until you are either called a scammer, or you have called someone else a scammer. It is a rite of passage. A popular bitcoiner, @tone_LLT would have nothing to say if you removed the word “scam” from his vocabulary.
- Inflationary/defaltionary- if you are familiar with finance, don’t be fooled by these common words used in cryptocurrency. They have nothing to do with credit cycles and instead mean that some people think a large number of coins are good and others think the opposite. It doesn’t matter anyway, because you are shitcoin. Get over it.
- Noobs- A seasoned crypto trader seeks the lifeblood of a noob. Like the vampire, the hungry trader lurks in the shadows and pounces. Why? Because Noobs (you) are totally predictable.
- PoS vs. PoW- They both have advantages and disadvantages. One can scale, but is insecure and the other is secure, but can’t scale. None of this should distract you from hodling a shitcoin if the noobs are going to rally it.
- Classic- A common name referred to something that is more than two years old. Ethereum Classic, Bitcoin Classic etc… Yes, there is a low bar for becoming a classic.
- Crypto Anarchist- Someone who totally hates the government. Until he gets scammed. Then he calls the SEC.
- Blockchain- this can mean whatever you want it to mean.
- Blockchain Expert- Anyone who has learned about Bitcoin from a TEDx video and is looking for a VC.
- Ecosystem- A developer will use this word to make his shitcoin seem sophisticated and complex. He is right. It is a sophisticated and complex system designed to separate you from your money.
- Fib Retracement Levels- a technical analysis system that can predict crypto price corrections. Also, the amount of money you will lose using this system, is proportional to a Fibonacci spiral.
- Pump N’ Dump- This does not mean what you think it means. Alt Coins are so full of Pump and Dumps that the term has a different meaning. Basically, anything that goes up is a ‘Pump’ and anything that goes down is a ‘dump’. Noobs will get the most of the latter.
- Butthurt- A description of where you will feel the pain when your shitcoin goes to zero.
- Rekt- You discover that you were the last person to ever place an order to buy that shitcoin.
- FOMO- The fear of missing out. You see that big, pretty green candle and can only think it will get even bigger. See #18 to learn what happens next.
- FUD- Another Acronym. Fear, uncertainty and doubt. If someone hates your shitcoin, it is FUD. If you hate their shitcoin, you are spreading FUD. Basically any logical criticism is FUD.
- Bitcoin Maximalist- these people have a great vision for our future. Imagine Mad Max meets the rapture- but everyone only takes bitcoin. If you love this vision, you are a maximalist.
- Fork- There is another four letter word used interchangeably with the word ‘fork’. If your alt coin developer starts talking about a fork… well, you know the rest.
- Whale- In finance, a whale is usually a very wealthy investor or institution. In crypto, it means a video gamer who borrowed two grand from his mom.
Hope this helps. Good luck with your new career.
If you have more slang terms, twitter me @MirakhorHassan. I’ll add the best ones here.
Thanks to @MoneyTrigz for helpful insights.